


Duality & Grace

by Judgey_Fish_Caretaker



Series: The Journey of the Dyad [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Finn is a Jedi, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi Finn, Kylo Ren Redemption, Maz Kanata knows what's up, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, POV Ben Skywalker, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Resistance, Rey & Rose Tico Are Best Friends, Rey & Rose Tico Friendship, Rey Solo, Reylo AU Week, Reylo Week, Soft Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, The Force, Virgin Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judgey_Fish_Caretaker/pseuds/Judgey_Fish_Caretaker
Summary: "She doesn't have time to explain to their onlookers why their Resistance hero held the fallen First Order's Supreme Leader with care – they had to act quickly. Guilt snaked around her heart and tightened her chest, leaving her breathless and sick. She had not been honest with her friends."Ben Solo lives following the events of Exegol. [AU/Reylo]
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Skywalker, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: The Journey of the Dyad [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040406
Comments: 18
Kudos: 101





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Well. This kind of just happened one night. Social distancing and having time on my hands has really gotten to me, y'all.

_Ben Solo always had a knack for predicting an opponent's move._

_Nothing seemed to get past him – he once had the academy scores to prove it. The jilted whispers of his peers brushing themselves off, collecting their stick sabers, and walking off the dirt dueling grounds had been music to his ears._

Side step

Deflect

Lift

Overhead twirl

Downward slash.

_His uncanny ability of being one step ahead of his opponents served him well through his schooling and his sinister transformation into the mighty Kylo Ren. His lifelong training and raw strength in the Force naturally slid him into the role of leader amongst the other Knights. His master, Supreme Leader Snoke, had high hopes for his reign, strategically selecting an apprentice of Skywalker blood to surpass the dark legacy of Darth Vader._

_However Snoke, much like the others, too fell a step behind._

_Which is why Ben's current predicament of not knowing his next move is so unusual._

_"Ben!"_

_Her whisper mirrors the mixture of both relief and bliss lighting her features. Unfamiliar with both the sound of his given name and the elated response, Ben hesitates. Her hand finds his face, her fingertips lightly touching his cheeks as if confirming their reality. His own hand remains on the back of her neck. Their gazes tangle, frantically dancing across each other's' faces, not quite believing the others' presence. Ben feels himself buzz with anticipation from their close proximity, but hesitates in quiet anticipation._

_Ben Solo had always been able predict his adversaries' next move._

_So when her lips unexpectedly crash against his, he knows he has finally met his match._

_At her wordless permission he meets her advances with equal vigor, tugging her small frame against his broad one. His eyes close, drinking her in: their shared pleasure is intoxicating._

_When she finally pulls away, Ben welcomes the forgotten sensation of his lips widening into a large grin. No ascent to power or manipulation of the Force had given him such peace than this intimate moment._

_With a sigh of contentment and a final embrace of the light, his world slips into black._

* * *

"Help! Someone, please-"

Rey's voice was raw and projected hardly a whisper over the thunderous celebrating of the remaining Resistance at their base on the jungle moon of Ajan Kloss. Lightheaded and weary, she felt as though was walking through a dream. Their cheers and jubilant laughter were all but warbled, indistinguishable sounds and as disconnected as she felt. The weight of Ben's lifeless body weighed her down from the side and she could sense his consciousnesses fading in and out. With one of his arms over her shoulders and hers looped behind his broad back, she made her slow approach to the triumphant camp, struggling with each step. She didn't have much time.

Outside the base was a chaotic scene of vehicles, ships, and bodies. The stench of fuel, sweat, and alcohol filled Rey's nose as she dizzily searched for her friends, eyes darting across the mob: a swirl of beige, green, and orange.

"A medic." It came out more as a gasp than a yell. Ben felt heavier somehow. "Please, I need a medic-"

"Rey?!"

Poe Dameron's booming voice carried over the crowd's commotion. The bewilderment and urgency in his inflection caught the attention of nearby rebels, causing a strange hush to fall across the site. Rey knew she must have been quite the sight: streaked with dirt, tears, and blood while carrying the weight of a strange man they had never seen before. She felt their curious eyes continue to bore into her but did not shift her attention from Poe as he assessed her and the lifeless body she struggled to keep upright. She then shamefully watched as his expression darkened at his silent recognition. Confusion was replaced with anger.

"Rey, why-"

"Poe, please." The sheer rage that tumbled off of him almost knocked her off her feet. She did not need to be sensitive to the Force to know his resentment towards the man she carried – she saw it in the smoldering behind his brown eyes. There was no hiding his animosity. Baffled, their surrounding peers observed this tense, unspoken exchange between two of their Resistance leaders.

Always one with timing, Finn finally stepped from behind Poe and into view. Rey desperately caught his gaze, her eyes both pleading and filled with sudden embarrassment. She doesn't have time to explain to their onlookers why their Resistance hero held the fallen First Order's Supreme Leader with care – they had to act quickly. Guilt snaked around her heart and tightened her chest, leaving her breathless and sick. She had not been honest with her friends.

Finn's warm brown eyes held Rey's for a moment, as if to take her in, before flickering over to the wounded man in her arms. To describe him as a man was to be kind, for he had be the source of so much anguish and fear in Finn's world, a previous life before Rey that had only known torture and destruction. Rey waited in agony for his response she was certainly unworthy of. For a few brief moments, Finn closed his eyes until finally Rey sensed an unusual calmness settle over him. She sighed. It was inexplicable, but was it was as though he had somehow heard her without a single word being spoken out loud.

Finn opened his eyes before addressing the nearest two men who silently gawked. "Get him on the Falcon and get him some water." He gestured towards Ben. "There's senoti bark and bacta bandages onboard-" Finn eyed Ben's abdominal wound, which since reopening on Exegol had bled through his shirt. "It should sanitize and heal properly, preventing any further infection or potential fever."

Poe finally spoke. "Finn, you've got to be kidding me-"

Before Rey could counter, Finn raised his hand. "Trust her." Poe opened his mouth to debate further before Finn interrupted, low so no one could overhear. "Poe, he's Leia's _son_."

Poe bristled with a hissed response through gritted teeth. "I don't think he's been her son for a very long time." But he conceded, hands on his hips, allowing the men to pass. After they've collected Ben and the surrounding spectators had dispersed, he turned to Rey with a single raised finger. "He comes as our prisoner."

Rey could only nod in response, fully empathizing with her friend's outburst. Tears brimmed her lashes. "He will be." She promised.

There isn't more to be said. With a deep exhale, a wounded expression replaced Poe's tense features before walking away, shoulders sagged. Exhausted. Defeated. By instinct, Rey moved towards his retreating back in attempts to follow him before she felt Finn clasp his hand on her shoulder. His voice is soothingly reassuring. "I'll talk with him."

Rey nodded again. Finn gave a gentle squeeze before heading in Poe's direction.

"Finn."

He paused and turned back to her. She offered him a tired smile.

"Thank you."

Finn shot her his trademark grin before sauntering off in Poe's direction.

Left standing alone amongst separate pockets of conversation, Rey suddenly became self-aware of her grime stained apparel and arms. She raised her hands within view, examining the blood smeared against her palms and between her fingers. Whether it was hers or Ben's, only the Maker knew.

"Master Rey." A careful automated voice came from the side of her. Rey looked towards it, to find Threepio, standing alone a few feet away. It was unclear as to how long he had been there and though his expression was devoid of emotion, one tilt of his head indicated he was assessing her. After such a tumultuous day of warfare, sacrifice – almost his entire self - and loss – what sort of wise words would he want to bestow today? Threepio had seen decades of war and had his own share of battles firsthand: did he think this outcome would carry out any differently? Rey found herself in a rare state of wanting to listen to his sage, shrill droning.

"If you don't mind me noticing…" He began, the squeak of escaped air from his neck released with each head motion. "You do appear to be in great need of a fresher." Oh. "I have on good authority that there are some available in the back of the camp."

In spite of herself, Rey chuckled. Either frenzied panic or nonchalance: there was no in between for this droid. However, there was comfort in fact that some things had not changed.

"Thanks, Threepio." She would take him up on that. It had been a long day.


	2. II

* * *

At last, night had fallen on Ajan Kloss, though celebrations seemed to be just getting started.

After the initial return there was, of course, the somber task of accounting all of who remained. Moments of silence and comfort were shared amongst friends for those who had laid down the ultimate sacrifice. Rey didn't ever think she would ever shake the memory of Norra Wexley's reaction to the news of her son, Snap. Her husband's, Wedge Antilles, embrace did little to muffle her gut wrenching sobs while tears streaked his own face. Lieutenant Connie and others stood idly nearby, shared in their helplessness. Their anguish was unbearable.

The tentative plan was to gather here together through the evening and they depart the jungle moon following dawn. Then where to go from here? The Maker only knew. Their galaxy had been splintered for so long and the damage of the First Order would undoubtedly be lasting. The task to fix it seemed insurmountable, especially without their fearless leader, Leia Organa.

 _Leia_. Grief gripped Rey's heart and left her suffocated if she dwelled on it for too long. She believed no Jedi meditation practice her dear mentor had taught would ever lessen the ache she felt following her passing. A hero of the decades through both the Galactic War and the formation of the Resistance, Leia had been a force of perseverance and grace to be reckoned with. Even in the face of potential failure, she always carried hope. _We have everything we need_ Leia had once assured Rey, who held her late brother's fractured saber in her hands following the tumultuous events on Crait. To think their distress calls were met with radio silence, hardly escaping the salt planet's abandoned rebel base with their small band of survivors that all fit onboard the Falcon, and now…

Rey observed the crowd below from her perch a top of a nearby quadjumper, lit by bonfires, as they mingled and partook in festivities. They were her legacy. All of them had heard Leia's final plea delivered by Lando - and they had answered in numbers that exceeded Rey's wildest imagination. She heard the excited chatter and jubilation over the frequencies from every corner of the galaxy: The First Order had at last fallen – the galaxy was free!

These Resistance fighters who had answered the call also knew of the legendary Luke Skywalker and his final sacrifice: a spark that lit the fire that brought tyranny to its knees. The Jedi _lived,_ and he was not the last of them – but neither was she…

Rey took a deep swig from her small tin cup. The aged swill burned her throat as it traveled down. It was vile, but she guessed it did the trick.

As the mood had transitioned from somber to celebratory, Rey remained withdrawn. She didn't have it in her heart, at least for now. She had such little time and so much to process and moments of solitude in a packed cavern of Resistance fighters were more rare than an overcast day on an unforgiving Tatooine. She had not even had the opportunity to tell the others exactly what happened on Exegol. They accepted her reservation – her story would be told in due time. Rey watched as they hugged and drank - their laughter and singing carried above them along with the tall flames of the fires that licked the star canvassed sky. She softly smiled. If only the Skywalker twins could see them now.

"Hey." A voice unexpectedly joined her from the side and Rey shifted her attention just in time to see Rose throw her leg atop the shuttle. She wordlessly sat down next to her and unhitched her own beverage that clinked against her tool belt. They sat in comfortable silence beside each other, watching the scene unfold below. Rey always appreciated Rose and her innate ability to know what to say and when to say it: her patience and empathy was beyond compare. Mechanically skilled and strategically minded, she was a good soldier but an even better friend.

"He'll be okay." Rey almost sputtered out her drink at her boldness.

"Who?" Rey asked, her voice devoid of as much emotion as she could manage. She took another tip in a poor attempt to mask her interest.

Rey didn't have to glance in her direction to know that Rose eyes performed a curt roll.

"His abdominal wound responded well to the senoti bark. No detected infection or fever even." She didn't even humor Rey with providing a name. She paused before translating, a bit more gently. "He'll heal soon enough."

Rey inwardly sighed with relief but offered no reaction other than a restless tapping of her fingers on her cup. "Good to know," was all she managed. "Thank you."

"Rey," Rose began. Rey could sense she was formulating her next words carefully. "I can't begin to imagine what it's like to be the remaining few on the path you're on. You've already lost so many people in such a short amount of time that just, well, get it. Get _you_." Rey attentively listened, her eyes wandering to Finn, Poe, and company who were rowdily conversing with peers over what appeared to be a game of sabacc. Zorii, who Rey had grown incredibly fond of in a short amount of time she knew her, leaned into Poe with a guttural laugh that caused her to throw her head back for air. Poe returned her laughter. Rey felt a slight pang of longing. Poe's body language had drastically relaxed from their earlier exchange. Rey understood his anger and the trauma that was provoked. She would be foolish to think that all the Jedi training in the galaxy could erase the burning desire to give Unkar Plutt a good kick if she was given the chance. She hoped he could forgive her. Rose was right - she had lost so much, and she didn't want to lose more.

"I don't intend to pry," Rose continued as her friend remained silent. "But our visitor seems hardly like a recent development."

What could Rey say? Zorii had now draped her arm around Poe's waist, giving it a slight squeeze. "What makes you think that?" No confirmation.

"Women's intuition," Rose replied lightly, jabbing Rey in her side with her elbow. "I don't understand the Jedi part, but I can empathize the alone part." In the corner of her eye, Rey caught a glimpse of Rose tug the medallion around her neck. "I just want you to be careful."

"Thank you, Rose." Rey was sincere.

"Don't mention it." She clinked her bottle against Rey's cup before taking one last gulp. "He's awake now." She casually added. Rey sharply inhaled at the information provided as Rose shrugged as she clicked her bottle onto her utility belt. "Do with it what you will."

With giving any more elaboration, Rose descended off the side of quadjumper with slight hop that skipped the last three ladder rungs. Rey watched her retreating back as Rose joined the rest of the Resistance and their festivities.

Once Rey confirmed no one was watching, she followed suit – slipping unnoticed into the shadows.

* * *

The outskirts of the Resistance's cavern was a mess of abandoned starfighters and shuttles scattered about. As Rey maneuvered through the tall grass, the music and shouts of the ongoing celebration at the site's center dulled as her senses were taken over by the sounds of the moon's natural nightlife. The buzz and crickets of insects pulsated through the air as though partaking in a late evening song and, at this hour, Ajan Kloss' own moon lit Rey's path ahead in a dim blueish hue. Despite her many recent travels, Rey continued to be mesmerized by each world's distinct characteristics.

Desert planets, she had undoubtedly decided, were not at all her favorite.

After rounding underneath a parked U-Wing, Rey finally had the Falcon in her sight – the gangplank was just within reach! She picked up her pace to cut through the last batch of tall grass when, suddenly, she was abruptly halted by an unseen body striking her waist traveling with equal urgency in the opposite direction.

_OOOOF!_

The collision knocked the both of them to the ground, its sudden force knocking the wind straight from Rey's lungs. Sputtering and coughing, her hand went instinctively to her blaster at her side. She felt slightly foolish since there was no known enemy left to defend against but, Rey wondered, who would be sneaking around these parts at this hour?

Not that she had room to ask.

"After such a long day and having so much energy." An aged familiar voice drawled, amusement the inflection. "My girl, you're in such a rush."

"Maz?!" Rey nearly shouted, her hand leaving her holster as she fumbled to stand upright. The petite pirate queen watched with curious amusement as Rey attempted to wipe the dirt from her thighs.

"What are you doing out there – away from the party?" Rey asked.

Maz adjusted her goggles atop her head, choosing to ignore Rey's question. "What are _you_ doing out here" Rey doesn't provide a reply but had a feeling that this Force-sensitive sage born over a millennium ago already knew her answer. Somehow.

"Ah, my dear.." Maz Kanata's beady eyes took Rey's being in, they brimmed with certain pride. "How far you've come. A _Jedi!_ " Rey sheepishly smiled at her zealous praise.

"A lot has certainly happened since we first met." Rey admitted. She had come a long way from the tearful young woman Maz found in the basement of her castle on Takodana, only just discovering her path in all of…this. Despite all that had passed, a small part of Rey still felt lost as the scavenger who left her desert planet – and Maz's eyes carried the same kindness as though she quietly sensed it.

"Yes." Maz wrinkled orange features pinched into a knowing grin. She pressed on. "The Skywalker's saber could not have been bestowed on a more perfect successor."

In spite of herself, Rey winced at the confirmation. She was a Jedi, there was no question as the Jedi of the past selected her as their conduit to defeat Darth Sidious who had for too long terrorized galaxy as Emperor and from the shadows. Their trust and assurance humbled her. This triumph, however, still remained tainted to Rey by the learned fact of her shared her lineage with a Sith. Rey was unsure if she could ever fully discuss with anyone what happened on Exegol, even her friends. Maybe one day.

"Maz, can I ask you something?" The words spilled from Rey's lips than were said, before she had a moment to reflect on the implications of the question she was asking. She was afraid of what the answer may be.

A patient nod. "Of course,

"You once told us you had lived long enough to see the _same eyes in different people_." Rey hesitated, fumbling over her next words. "Did you mean, did you by chance-"

"No."

"Wait-what?" Rey had not even finished her question.

Maz raised a single hand up. "Rey, I know what you're asking me." She placed her two palms together and pointed her long, leathered fingers in Rey's direction, who's mouth was now gaped in surprise at her swift response. "You want to know if I saw Palpatine in your eyes that day. " She shook her head. "And I did not. That's not how eyes work: they are windows to the soul." Maz approached Rey, close enough that she could reach upwards and place a single finger on her chest. She whispered, confidently. "You may have shared his blood, but you never shared his soul."

Rey stood still with Maz's finger still to her chest, stunned. How did she know she was a Palpatine's granddaughter? Did Maz know _everything_? Yet, the relief of the invisible weight lifted from her shoulders was all the answer she needed from this mysterious sage. "Thank you, Maz." Was all she a managed.

Maz removed her finger with a nonchalant shrug. "I best be going now – I heard my _boyfriend_ is sharing the most delectable drinks this side of the rim. It's time for celebration!" She casually rounded a still bewildered Rey in the direction of the festivities before turning around a final time.

"Rey?"

A glance over the shoulder. "Yes?"

Maz gave her usual cryptic smile. "He has the same eyes of his mother."

And with that, her petite form disappeared through the tall grass.

Rey fought the urge to follow her and ask her how she knew so much and what exactly she was insinuating by that, but another presence had distracted her senses.

 _Ben._ The skin on the back of her neck prickled and her heartbeat throbbed in her ears. He was so close now, she could feel him.

With one last look around, and an added careful glance over the brush ahead, she darted towards the Falcon's open gangplank.

Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy your (safe) May the 4th festivities tomorrow! Let me know what y'all think :) 
> 
> xox rose


	3. III

Mindful that the noises a sprinting ascent may draw too much attention from anyone else unknowingly hanging back from the festivities, Rey discreetly boarded the Falcon through its opened gangplank. Her slow and deliberate steps carry her through the old freighter's dinged rounded corridor. She painstakingly avoided the slightest disturbance of paneled flooring that, in Han Solo's smuggler heyday, concealed a wide range of illegal goods from every corner of the galaxy. A fleeting moment of mourning: she wished she could have had the opportunity to hear his stories.

She entered the main hold now, the dejarik board repurposed as a war tactical table as Resistance fighters' belongings are scattered across the common space. Rey exhaled a sigh of relief. It appeared no additional comrades of hers had remained behind – booze and song had finally replaced maps and war strategy. However, Ben remained unseen. With that fact, she concluded he was being held in the captain's room.

She rounded the hallway until reaching the private quarters' closed door. Her hand idled on the keypad beside it that locked the room from the outside. She had not failed to notice that there were no additional folks assigned to guard outside the Resistance prisoner's door. Maybe General Dameron trusted her more than he let on, Rey mused. Either that or he was quite the pushover with Finn, which was par for the course for those two. She paused outside the room just a little longer, feeling slightly foolish. Ben's presence thrummed throughout the entire Falcon since she had first entered and her even closer proximity caused her the hairs on her arm to stand upright. She would ignorant to think he wouldn't feel her too.

A dance of fingertips across the keypad's surface and the door at last opened with a resounding hiss of released air. Rey entered the room, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to its low-lit fixtures. Blinking switches and a bright screen of a makeshift vital monitor Rose installed earlier marked the head of the captain's bed. It only took Rey but an additional moment to see a broad form sprawled across it.

She had spotted him before he saw her. At the sight of her, Ben shifted his weight to sit up.

"Rey-" He winced.

"Shh, don't." Rey hushed. She hoped did not notice how her eyes briefly flickered over his bare chest donning fresh bacta badges before returning to his face. She was thankful for the quarter's subdued lighting – if her thoughts didn't betray her, her red face would have. She cleared her throat. "Save your strength."

"You shouldn't be here."

"You shouldn't have followed me to Exegol," she retorted stubbornly. "But you did."

An exasperated sigh. It was shuura fruits and jogan fruits, she knew, but he didn't argue with her. He propped himself up against the wall at the head of the bed, eyes turned upward. Rey tried not to stare at the hair that teased just above his bare shoulders.

He finally responded, barely audible over the whirring of the crotchety old freighter's machinery. "I would have never let you face _him_ alone."

A knowing pause. Silence hangs between them as Rey hugged her arms across her chest. Though it is heavy, it is not uncomfortable. There was so much to be said, but how to even begin? Unable to form a proper response, Rey joined his gaze assessing the Falcon's captain quarters. To claim it had seen better days was an understatement, but Rey had always found its mismatched cabinets and paneling – sometimes exposed wiring - gave the old Corellian model some notable character. It had traveled the galaxy, but not without its fair share of makeshift repairs with items borrowed from every corner of it. Admittedly, some were more daring than others. Rey was still finding surprises much to Rose Tico's chagrin.

Ben was the first to speak. "I can't remember the last time I've been in this room." Rey glanced back in his direction, his eyes were still wandering across the space. His temporary prison. "If we traveled anywhere, my parents and I, I _always_ got the bunk out by the dejarik board – you know the one." She nodded. "I remember Uncle Lando being absolutely livid when Dad gutted his lavish cape closet for extra storage space. Need what you can get with a wife, co-pilot, and a kid." Ben gave out a sharp snort, as if witnessing an unspoken memory before rattling on. "To be honest, that's not even the worst of it. Did you know all of this used to be white walls – entirely? Dad really let this thing go-" He almost choked on the words with a shuddered inhale, moving his face away from Rey's direction. She couldn't see his tears, but the bobbing of his Adam's apple confirmed them.

"Ben," She sensed the uptick in his heart rate at the sound of his reclaimed birth name. Rey would never tire of using it. She instinctively moved from the entrance to join him, sitting gingerly at the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry I brought you here." She apologized hurriedly. "You were just so weak on Exegol and I wasn't strong enough to transfer enough Force to you for us to travel safely anywhere else." A confession followed. "I thought I was going to lose you. It seemed like the only way-"

He swiftly reached for her, his hand clasping around her own and temporarily halting her floundering apologies. An urgent squeeze of his fingers prompted her to look up at him. "Please, Rey." His eyes begged her. "Don't. It's alright."

His pleading expression was familiar, but Rey noted its distinct differences. Even when his ominous helmet was abandoned, Kylo Ren had worn his facial expressions as a meticulously constructed mask: vacant and impervious, except for his eyes. For Rey, they had always served as vulnerable windows to the tumultuous storm between his inner conflict of rage and anguish. However, this time his face wore his emotions: his features etched with familiar exhaustion and yearning, joined by an unfamiliar sheen of wetness on his cheeks.

Slacked shoulders, she conceded. "Thank you, then." Though mere words felt unsuitable. "For saving my life."

A smirk tugged the corner of his mouth. "I learned it from you, didn't I?"

Rey scoffed. "After I stabbed you," she reminded him.

"Huh. I guess you're right." A deep chuckle escaped from his chest, its foreign sound causing Rey's heart to flutter unexpectedly. "Are we really still going to dance around this?"

"You could have died," she accused pointedly.

"I knew the risks." His honesty momentarily stunned Rey. Ben shifted his back from the wall, angling himself towards her. "I don't know how much clearer I can be. Here-"

He guided her hand, holding her open palm against his temple. "You know you can take whatever you want." He whispered, almost slyly. The captor and prisoner's roles had indeed reversed since the first time his face had been so close to hers. Closing her eyes with a trembling breath, she gave in to his unspoken request.

Rey stretched into his mind, gradually melding his consciousness with her own. She had visited this space numerous times before: the flood of doubts, fears, and misery still remained, but this time almost as muddled memories that were no longer threatened of her presence or revealing their vulnerabilities…

_Red. That's all she sees before the memory of Snoke's throne room fully materializes. She recognizes herself suspended above, writhing in excruciating pain. She feels the heat of rage travel up the back of her – no, Ben's – neck. Sudden resolve. He knew what he had to do from the moment they departed the lift. He would risk it all._

_What a far cry from the way scavenger had originally slipped from his mouth like a filthy tasting word at the sight of her._

_A suffocating rush of exhilaration as their tethered abilities defeat the Praetorian Guards._

_Previous Jedi peers, nor the Knights of Ren, had ever felt so effortlessly in sync. A surge of unfamiliar confidence, the belief in endless possibilities of them as a pair. Rey isn't prepared to witness the shattering of the illusion, but she can't stop watching. She is captivated._

_For the first time, she sees herself through his eyes. He is mesmerized. Her lips parted, the fatigued rise and fall of her chest, her hair catching the light of swirling embers that surrounds them. For the first time, she sees herself as he truly believes her to be: skilled, powerful – beautiful. His desire to share the throne. The struggle for his uncle's saber wasn't to overthrow her as much as it was to prevent her from leaving._

_The crushing wave of loneliness that follows him waking on the cold tiled floor leaves Rey breathless._

_Then comes the cold: his quest to find Darth Sidious, his mission to eradicate any threat to his absolute power. The torment at discovering the dark truth behind every voice that had visited him as a young boy: his grandfather had never spoke with him, the only pure connection he had felt in his adulthood had been forged, there was no triumph to be found in defeating Snoke. Darth Sidious had been the master puppeteer all along and, despite innumerable nightmares that haunted his entirety of his childhood, Ben Solo was hardly even his main objective. A disposable pawn._

_It had been her. It had always been Rey. Yet, in spite of this truth, Kylo Ren feels little resentment towards the woman the Sith sought at his expense._

_In fact, as his own blade pierces through his body, he accepts his fate. Heaving his last breaths, he sees her._

_Just her._

Rey gave out a gasp, flinching her hand away as though burned. It all was made so dreadfully clear: In Sidious' failure of finding her due to her parent's bravery and sacrifice, another powerful bloodline was sought in her stead – the Skywalkers. How cruelly poetic, to destroy the family and legacy of those who brought an end to his monstrous reign as Emperor. Their family's small sliver of happiness in the galaxy following their sacrifices in the Galactic War had been all but robbed from them.

"It should have been me." Hot tears brimmed at the corner of her eyes as Rey frantically shook her head, picturing Leia, Han, and Luke's faces. All gone. "The Emperor only wanted _me_."

Ben reached for her, cupping her face in his hands. "Rey!" He nearly shouted over her lamenting. "It would have never been you – don't you understand!?"

A shuddered sob escaped Rey's lips and Ben's thumb caught the single tear that spilled down her cheek. From this proximity, she noticed the scar she had given him on Illum had faded from her life Force exchange on Kef Bir. How far they had come – from inflicting pain while in combat to restoring life. Rey had also known the risks and did not hesitate. She was now certain that his eyes were also glistening, as if also momentarily reliving the same memory as he intently watched her study his face.

His hands continued to cradle her head. "It never occurred to me when you told me that you wanted _Ben'_ s hand that Ben may still be alive. Palpatine's blood may run through your veins but you are what is good, what is light, what is _selfless_." His voice shook but did not lack conviction. Ben doesn't say it as much as it spilled out of him. "I did what I had to save you. If one of us were to walk off of Exegol, it had to be you. The galaxy needs Rey. I would have accepted my penance willingly."

Rey stifled a cry at the thought, his chaste worship of her prompting past visions to swirl. A rush of red sparks, black draped cloaks, and a dimly lit monolithic throne for two. The temptations some nights had left her breathless and full of shame. Regardless of his words, she knew the darkness that lurked in the corners of her mind – how much she was almost willing to surrender for even the slightest remnant of what they shared across a smoldering fire, a galaxy away. Kylo Ren was willing to give her it all.

"I never wanted the galaxy." Rey choked out. "Only you-"

Ben doesn't wait for permission this time.

His lips crashed onto hers with little warning other than his wide hands that tilted her face upwards to meet his. The former Kylo Ren's ravenous gaze did not match the kiss Ben Solo finally delivered: soft, but insistent, his hands tangled in her hair as he gently pulled her on top of him. A strange new sensation pooled at the bottom of Rey's stomach before tingling up her spine. She enjoyed it.

Rey fervently returned his advances but is careful to avoid his wounds as he leaned back onto the mattress, deepening their kiss. Fingers splayed against his bare chest; she couldn't help but be appreciative of his lack of cowl – at least this time. She could feel his heart hammering inside his chest and there was little doubt he could feel hers too. Though while in his amorous embrace that dwarfed her small frame, a fleeting thought crossed her mind: Had he, a man of his age and sature, ever been with someone as intimately as this, she wondered. She was abruptly self-conscious of the lack of experience the Jakku desert had provided her.

As if hearing her doubts out loud, she felt his lips form a smile against hers. "No," was his murmured confirmation.

Their impassioned exchange was anything but graceful: a clumsy fumbling of limbs and wandering hands, an exploration of uncharted territory for two individuals who had previously only known survival. Yet, this moment was wholly theirs and theirs alone.

Rey lost track of the amount of time that had passed before they finally pulled away. A pause of their foreheads pressed together and panting breaths intermingling. Wordlessly, she found the crook under his arm that maintained his tender hold across her back whilst his other hand rested on her curled-up thigh. They sat for a few minutes in content silence a top of tangled sheets and discarded utility belts and footwear, basking in their shared bliss. It was difficult to believe that it was not so long ago they stood on opposing sides. He, a black leathered fist that gripped the galaxy into obedience through fear and devastation. She, an orphan who was never sure if her scavenged parts would be enough to secure a meal the following day.

Now, they shared the same bed.

It was unclear what the days ahead would bring Ben Solo after they left Ajan Kloss. The new Republic was laid out in hypotheticals from past institutions and a cohesive justice system was yet to be formed. Her compassion for him set aside; Rey was not naïve to the probability that the galaxy would seek what he deserved with the cruelest vengeance. She shivered from her speculation. They had only just begun to uncover the potentiality of their prophesized dyad, a connection that no one left living would truly ever comprehend even with the best intentions.

A future without Ben felt hollow with so much left unfinished. Undiscovered.

"I should have left with you." Ben rumbled lowly into her shoulder, placing a soft kiss on the skin where her scar once was.

"Hmmm?" She drowsily managed. Rey had heard him but struggled keeping her eyelids open.

"From the Supremacy." Ben explained. "I was so poisoned, desperately thinking that killing the past would fill the void, fulfill an empty future I so blindly sought after." He shook his head. "It was already too late for me in so many ways, but I could have done good. Less death would have been caused by my hand-"

Rey was jerked awake as the words caught in his chest, struggling to surface. She recognized the regret in his voice, his evident mourning of what could have been. He would have still had his uncle, his mother.

He would have had _her_.

"Rey, " he choked. The tears had returned. "I'm so _sorry_ , I-"

"Shhh, Ben."

_The longing you seek isn't behind you, it is ahead._

With that small spark of hope, she kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy many of you were pleased with the last chapter too - to be honest, it wasn't even in my original outline or radar but I realized that I was so starved for Rose and Maz content that it just felt like an easy addition to make. I'm glad you enjoyed it and REALLY hope you enjoyed this one and their reunion was worth the wait.
> 
> A few more chapters ahead, with the next one being from Ben's POV.
> 
> If you're interested and are also (safely) bored in quarantine, have a few more completed fics on my profile. More subtle, implied Rey/Kylo dynamics but all Sequel Trilogy focused. Some oddly ended up being pretty canon compliant, with the exception of my AU fic.
> 
> Thank you! Stay safe


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you for your incredibly kind words. This chapter was a bit more challenging as I was really trying to tackle and connect themes of the trilogy from Ben's POV and, well, there's a lot.
> 
> A little bit of a flashback for you too - enjoy!

Ben was alive.

This was unexpected.

He also did not have the faintest clue where he was.

Unable to focus his eyes, the room he was being carried into was entirely a blur of moving shadows and forms. He felt as though he was submerged in water. Their soft chatter all but muffled to his ears and he maintained little autonomy of his limp body being lugged into position. Humid air prickled his bare chest while his tunic is removed and his handlers give him one more forceful hoist from under his shoulders, colliding his head with an unseen wall.

 _Kriff._ No - definitely not dead.

"Careful." A female hissed at them. Squinting, Ben could make out the dark hair and short frame of the owner as she hastily emptied out of what he suspected to be a drawer of first aid supplies alongside the mattress he was now settled on. His observation was swiftly confirmed by the stinging tingle of sterilized wounds and a cool compress of oozing bacta bandages. His body - or what he could move of it - instinctively winced from the frigid sensation. He feebly attempted to sit up before a hand lightly stopped him.

"Shh, my child." A new voice had joined them, the surrounding shuffling bodies just a backdrop to her still frame. She was a short orange being of an unfamiliar species just slightly taller than the bed he laid on, yet Ben knew he had met her before. Just a hazy memory and his scattered mind struggled to grasp it. It felt over a lifetime ago. Her leathery orange hand gently nudged his shoulder back onto the mattress. "You're safe here."

 _Safe_. Ben felt himself inexplicably relaxed by her maternal promise, his previous tensions spilling off of him as he finally eased into the thin pillows. Satisfied with his response, she wordlessly pulled a thin sheet up to his chest before departing his side.

From underneath his drooped eyelids, Ben watched as the sole remaining figure leaned over him. It was the same dark-haired woman who had given directions before, working diligently to install a vital reader of some kind at the head of the bed. He wasn't sure how much time had passed of their shared silence before he could hear the successful clicks and whirs of the machinery coming to life. He listened to her release a content sigh, but they were no longer alone.

A new, tense presence hesitated by the quarters' door frame. Ben squinted from the corner of his eye and recognized him as Rey's companion who had bravely, and somewhat foolishly, challenged him on Starkiller Base. It was…the traitor. A cold wave of embarrassment and shame washed over Ben at the realization he did not know his actual name. Maybe Rey could tell him, when he saw her again. He would ask.

"You done here, Rose?" Ben heard the defected trooper ask the woman as she collected loose items from the floor.

"Yes, he'll be alright. I'll return before sundown to refresh his bandages…" Her voice trailed off. Ben felt her hesitation. He closed his eyes before the inevitable, hushed question: "Is it true who he is?"

There was no audible answer, but Ben only assumed her friend had covertly nodded in response. The woman exited the space without another word. Ben's eyes remained shut but he could sense the man was still lingering at the entry way. If he intended to seek vengeance, Ben knew he could not fight him off even if he tried – but did he want to? Ben did not blame him and maybe, he contemplated, it was even the ending he deserved.

But there was no ambush. The man instead idled silently for a few more moments before finally speaking. His tone was so soft that Ben was unsure if it was intended for his ears or was a quiet confession to no one in particular.

"I don't know how to explain it and I don't know if anyone else would understand. One minute she was there and the next…" A guarded snivel. "She was gone. I couldn't feel her anymore."

 _Rey_. Ben laid there, motionless and bewildered. The trooper was Force-sensitive? He thought back to their combat in the forests of Ilum, the ferocity fueling his opponents' graceless attacks. As someone who was untrained in the ways of the Force and the handling of a saber, Kylo Ren had been mildly impressed by his persistence but had mostly written him off as a mere nuisance. Snoke's former apprentice's judgement had been clouded for so long he failed to recognize the signs of what may have been awakened in the First Order's trooper in his moment of defiance on Jakku. He had been blinded by his own rage for so long to see all that was unfolding.

"I'm not sure how, but I know that you're the reason she's is still alive." Ben was caught off guard by his directness. "I care a lot about her, and…" A cautious pause. "something tells me you do too."

Ben was unable to confirm former FN-2187's aloud musings but he needed not to. He felt his relief buzz through their confined space of heavy words at last spoken.

"Thank you."

Then like that, he was gone.

Ben had little time to navigate his dizzying thoughts, recent revelations, and anxieties of what the next days would bring. Left alone in the silence of the quarters and under the subdued lighting of the monitor above his head, sleep finally overtook him.

He welcomed its advances.

* * *

_Was this redemption?_

Ben stared up at the ceiling, full of bliss, hardly bothered by the lumpy mattress of the Falcon's captain bed he laid on. In fact, it was possibly the most comfortable he had been for as long as he could remember. As Supreme Leader, all the luxurious goods and pleasures obtained by the First Order from the far reaches of the galaxy had been available at the tips of his gloved fingers: slick, clean, expansive chambers intended for the upmost comfort, yet, there was little that could alleviate the cold and emptiness he felt while inside their spaces. He hardly slept.

He glanced down at his chest towards Rey, who now slept soundly in the crook of his arm. She had unintentionally visited his private quarters several times before, but every time she had always just out of reach. Ben would take being held in dingy quarters of an old freighter any day if it meant she was in his embrace like this. Despite his newfound comfort, he was unwilling to fall asleep. Nightmares had always visited him there and, well…this was a dream. No, it was better. Never in Ben's wildest fantasies would he have ever imagined a world where his affections would have been reciprocated, however unworthy he still felt.

 _Unworthy._ The word stung. How much had that notion had dictated his life, drawing its strength from his insecurities all to be used as a weapon of Darth Sidious. A malicious tool intended to groom Ben Solo for what he was to become.

But what was that, exactly? A potential vessel for the shrouded Sith's return, purposefully selected when Palpatine's kin was lost. A child of a princess and a scoundrel with Skywalker blood in his veins – Ben Solo never stood a chance. The light and dark had fought ownership of him since birth.

How ironic was it then that Kylo Ren, the Jedi killer, was the one who at last found the Sith's granddaughter, the last Jedi. A thoroughly curated set of circumstances that Ben would be naïve to minimize the Force's influence on their crossed paths. Snoke – or Darth Sidious – had sensed his impressionable young apprentice's tenderness for her while she was held captive aboard the Finalizer, manipulating his vulnerabilities by linking their bond. To the rising Sith hidden in the shadows, it was the perfect opportunity to have the mysterious Force-sensitive girl lead Kylo Ren and the First Order straight to Luke Skywalker. However, once the Sith Lord discovered the meddling scavenger's true identity as his own kin after the fall of Snoke by his apprentice's hand, the strategy had severely altered. He would have Kylo Ren hunt her down, a battle to the death, where the sole surviving would be deemed as his most suitable vessel. For Darth Sidious, their struggle was a foolproof plan for the Sith's return – no matter the outcome of their conflict, he would be triumphant.

Rey stirred against Ben, unaware of his dark ruminations as she nuzzled her face into his chest. He tightened his embrace, placing a light kiss into her hair, breathing her in. Darth Sidious' forged connection between their minds had unintended consequences: Compassion. Ben Solo would have never destroyed Rey, not even as Kylo Ren. He could still taste the ugly lie that fell from his lips on Crait.

 _I'll destroy her_.

His uncle had sensed this falsehood even when Darth Sidious could not. It should have been no surprise that hatred would blind even the most powerful Sith lord from the lengths one would go to protect those they cared for. Darth Sidious had not learned from Anakin Skywalker and he surely did not learn from Kylo Ren.

But even Kylo Ren's yearning for her at first was disordered and muddled. He now found himself shuddering at the vision of her he had initially chased: Rey, clad in swirling black, her eyes glinting red with a coy smile from beside him on a shared throne. Uncle Luke had always taught Ben to be mindful of his emotions clouding his visions or judgement as a young Jedi. As powerful, sexy, and alluring as she was in his visions, it wasn't truly who he longed for.

He had been determined to push her out in the desert of Pasaana, testing her limits to reveal her truth. Their truth. A dyad, one in the Force. He had been successful, but their pinnacle shared moment was not the destructive lightening that sprouted from her fingertips, confirming her dark lineage. It wasn't in any violence or conquest. It was discovered in her selfless transfer of the Force following their duel on Kef Bir, risking herself so that he may live.

 _That_ was her truth.

Darth Sidious gloated of his abilities in the Force, luring Kylo Ren with promises of what the dark side could fulfill for them. A final First Order, a new Empire to surpass them all. He boasted of the Sith and their power to defy death, therefore immune to natural order. However, the gnarled and decrepit fingers the revealed what the cloak concealed had told Ben otherwise. Darth Sidious' promises were hollow and rotted, just like the decaying body he possessed. The ability to save those from certain death had been a power that Sith had claimed ownership for over a millennia. Though regarded as perverse by many of the Jedi of the past, what Ben and Rey had accomplished felt anything but unnatural. Maybe it was one of the many secrets of their dyad and tethered capabilities. The Rule of Two had been a method adhered to in both the Sith and Jedi Order throughout their existence. For the Sith, to control and maintain threats to power. For the Jedi, a Master and a Padawan. Rey and Ben's dyad was this rule in its purest form, designed by the Force itself.

They were intended to do extraordinary things, they had already achieved extraordinary things, but all felt lost now. Ben Solo, the sole son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, would face the consequences of his crimes committed as Kylo Ren in the approaching days ahead – whatever that may be in the dawn of this new galaxy.

_"Ben."_

A deep whisper across his consciousness.

Ben perked up where he lay, careful not to wake Rey who he still held. He was accustomed to voices inside his head, but others had left him filled with dread. This one instead was both gentle and comforting, yet urgent.

_"You still have much to do, kid."_

"Uncle Luke." Ben's eyes teared.

 _"Go."_ His former Master demanded. Permission. " _You know where to find me_."

Ben Solo did.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that gave you all the Ben Solo perspective you needed.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh oof, finally! Don't have as much free time now. Thanks for your patience!

"Ben…"

Rey groggily shifted onto her back with a slight wince. She was unable to discern if morning had arrived on Ajan Kloss from inside the captain's windowless quarters but the way her tightened neck and joints protested, it was safe to assume considerable time had passed. She anticipated she would pay dearly for the time spent on this lumpy mattress that was well overdue a one-way ticket to Lotho Minor.

Granted, she had not intended on spending the night onboard the Falcon, but her conversation had gone a little differently than intended. Selfishly, she thought, maybe even a bit better. Rey knew she should have been a bit more concerned with the potential ramifications of her inappropriate overnight visit, but she still felt as if she was floating, a drunk sensation. She was reluctant to let this high end.

Eyes still drooped close, she reached for him beside her, craving any morning affection he may offer her.

"Ben…?"

What awaited her hand instead was a twisted bundle of sheets.

Snapped violently from her haze, Rey scrambled upright. The empty bed beside her was dented and wrinkled, evidence of someone previously in the space, but even the sheets were now cool to the touch.

Rey was wide awake now. Her stomach soured from the unwelcomed adrenaline now coursing through her as she leapt from the bed. She hardly recognized herself as she tore through sheets and loose items, flipping through pages of the texts stored just beneath. A woman possessed; she was desperate to find any clues at all.

She paused for a moment, forcing a slow inhale to steady her mind though she could not stop her body from shaking. She reached through the Force, seeking guidance through their bond or any indication of where Ben's whereabouts may be. Her efforts were blocked, knocking the wind out of her as though she herself had run into a wall.

Defeated, Rey collapsed onto the ground amongst scattered items and blankets as the room swirled around her in slow motion. No hints, not even a note. Her eyes blurred from hot, unshed tears.

He was gone.

And, she wondered, was he running away from the Republic or _her?_

Rey was so distraught that she hardly heard the others clamor into the room in response to her frantic commotion. She lifted her face from her hands to be met with the bewildered gazes of her friends as they wordlessly assessed the scene of her tear stained cheeks and the disheveled quarters. Finn's features were pinched with unspoken worry. Rose appeared to be the least surprised of Rey's current state, but her lips frowned with unspoken sympathy.

Poe, on the other hand, wore a stoic expression that did little to mask the anger rippling just underneath.

"Where is Ren?" He didn't bother to ask why she was in the room to begin with.

 _Ben!_ She screamed internally but all she could muster instead was a choked "I don't know- "

"Rey- "

"She doesn't know, Poe." Finn's stern voice came from behind him. He rounded Poe to join Rey on the floor, offering a tight arm around her. Rey obliged, sinking into his side. Poe unhooked his commlink from his utility belt and brought it to his mouth.

"Beren, this is General Dameron." Poe spoke evenly into the device. "Our…" He hesitated on the word. "… _visitor_ onboard the Falcon has gone missing. Anything unusual or out of place at the camp from what you can observe?"

Rey held her breath as the young man on the other side of the communication performed a swift evaluation of the area. Sensing her unease, Finn gave her a tight, reassuring squeeze of her shoulders with his arm. It felt as though time stood still for hours before they received a static response.

"Uh, negative. Nothing of concern. No weapons have been taken." The man sounded a bit out of breath. "We're missing the Imperial era TIE Master Rey arrived on - oh, wait a moment." Distorted chatter with someone else. "And a few slices of quinberry cake from our stored rations, sir."

Rey let out a shuddered exhale. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"What should we do, General?" Beren asked. Poe Dameron hovered his finger over the comlink button, wrestling with a response and unsure of his next command.

"If I may…" A velvety voice interrupted. Lando Calrissian soon appeared, decked in his trademark carefully tailored garb and cape. "I think it's due time we make sure these folks return back home and to their surviving families. We owe them that much." He titled his chin forward with a press of his hand to chest. "Between Maz and I, we know people that can search the galaxy for this, uh, _visitor._ " He smoothly assured.

Rey knew it was a lie and Poe didn't need to be a Jedi to know it either. Lando Calrissian may be one of the most illustrious Rebellion fighters the galaxy had ever known, but his initial fame originated from his scoundrel days. Suave words and false promises were notoriously part of his strategy. Nevertheless, Poe Dameron had learned when it was time to withdraw from a battle.

Poe sighed. At last he clicked his comlink with his response. "Don't waste the fuel. Report back and let's keep moving."

"But sir- "

"That's an order, Beren." Patient but firm.

"Yes, General."

Poe caught Rey's eyes and gave a curt nod before wordlessly exiting the quarters. He was closely followed by Rose, who knew she would run down from Finn later on and right now Poe needed some additional convincing. Lando lingered for another minute, giving a deep bow in Rey's direction.

"I look forward to wherever your journey leads next, young Jedi." His smile reaching the wrinkled corners of his eyes. "It's been an absolute pleasure."

As he left them, Rey briefly wondered what was going through Lando's mind. Did he truly possibility of someone altering their course for good, therefore the redemption of Ben Solo? And if so, did he find peace in the fact there was still a Solo journeying amongst the stars while also mourning the loss of his friends? Whatever the reason was, Rey was grateful for his sage voice of reason.

Even after the room emptied, Finn remained by her side. His thumb grazed her bare shoulder with comforting strokes.

"You okay?" He finally asked.

"Been better." Rey confessed half-heartedly. Her chin found her knees, which had curled up towards her chest.

"I know." His tone revealed to Rey that he _did_ know. Somehow. She was too weary at the moment to think on it further.

"Thank you." She knew it didn't require an explanation.

"Listen, Rey. I won't pretend to understand what's going on, what happened back on Exegol, or how you came back. I'm here for you to talk to - all in good time," Finn vowed. "But I do want you to know that I believe you – about Ben." Rey's ears perked, her eyes on her friend now. He rolled his jaw, considering his next words.

"I mean, I'm probably the only other person alive other than you that has been that close to him without his helmet – oh, but not like _that_!" Finn hurriedly clarified as Rey's face flushed scarlet. "It's just when I saw you dragging his near lifeless body into the camp…I don't know how to explain it. It was like rage I had seen back on Starkiller Base had all but disappeared, he felt…lighter. He's different, somehow." Sensitive to the tears that had returned to Rey's eyes, he lightly added with a shrug. "The lack of that scary saber in his hand kind of helped too. I'm no expert, but what a shoddy blade that was."

Despite the gravity of the situation, they both laughed like fools on the floor. Rey couldn't recall the last time she had: the sound was both unfamiliar and liberating, an invisible weight melting off her shoulders. Finn was so good at alleviating her burdens, even in times he couldn't fully understand her trials. His friendship was so precious to her and it was daunting to think on the wildly specific circumstances that were required for their paths to have ever crossed. Their journeys may have differed since then, but they would always share the day that their lives changed forever. His unconditional love and support would be what carried her through what was next, whatever that may be.

Finn lightly jabbed her shoulder with his.

"Come on," He nudged, his tone soft. "Let's get something to eat before we head off of here."

Rey followed his lead by lifting herself up from the ground, however, she had a nagging question that needed an answer before they joined the others. He had just reached the quarters' exit before his name slipped from her mouth.

"Finn," He turned to face her. She titled her head, her brows drawn together with mild suspicion. "You mentioned me earlier about me returning on Exegol- "She purposefully remained vague, gaging how much he knew. "-what did you mean by that?"

Finn gave her his trademark broad smile, clasping her shoulder with his hand. Rey could hardly miss the new sparkle in his friend's eye.

"We have a lot to talk about."

* * *

Ben pulled his tunic over his head, mindful of his injuries as he rolled the coarse fabric over his chest. The freighter's cool air crept through its tears and singed holes, but it would have to do for now.

He was just about ready. Standing over the bed, Ben watched Rey's sleeping form that was now alone. Her loose hair was splayed across the pillow, lips just slightly parted. He observed the slow rise and fall of her chest, her simple breathing bringing him a sense of inexplicable peace. Against his better judgement, he leaned down and placed one last kiss on her head, his lips lingering just above her ear. Rey stirred at his touch but did not wake.

Ben briefly considered leaving a note of some kind, an explanation of his whereabouts, but he couldn't risk it. When the Resistance inevitably discovered that he was missing, the less Rey knew the better. He would not allow her loyalties between himself and the rising Republic to full under scrutiny. This was her new family and they were who she needed right now. He hoped she could forgive him, one day.

Empty handed other than the clothes on his back, Ben moved for the door only to be promptly stopped in his tracks by an additional presence he had not sensed - despite his mammoth size.

It was like seeing a ghost as Chewbacca's towering form obstructed Ben's exit. Though Ben had significantly grown since they had last stood in such close proximity with one another, in this very moment, he felt as if he was once again a small child. He stood transfixed, watching Chewbacca regard him, his expression providing little inkling as to the thoughts ruminating behind his dark deep-yet eyes. If the elderly wookiee was intent on preventing Ben from leaving, there was little hope for a successful escape now. Ben warily awaited Chewbacca's next move, bracing himself for what he believed was an imminent apprehension.

No such advances occurred. Chewbacca stayed quiet, his gaze flickering briefly towards Ben's torso before returning to his face. Ben nodded in acknowledgement.

'You got me pretty good." He admitted. Ben could still see the flash of red from Chewbacca's bowcaster as it struck him on the fateful dimly lit bridge, a scene that would continue to haunt him for a lifetime. "It still hurts, most days." He wasn't sure if he was talking about his wound anymore.

The silence that hung between the pair was deafening. Chewbacca's appearance provoked memories that Ben had long denied himself to revel in: years of family adventures across the galaxy and intimate dinners around the Solo's dining table all but blended together in Ben's memory, scattered echoes and images. Chewbacca was probably the only other sentient being in the entire galaxy that Han and Leia trusted other than themselves with their precious son. He was also one of the only few alive that knew who Ben Solo truly was.

"I can't take it back." The tremble of his voice down traveled down to his hands as he spoke. "But know that every day, for as long as I live, I will try to make things right-"

Chewbacca at last took a step forward, but not how Ben originally anticipated. Without warning, he was enveloped in a hairy embrace. Ben found himself breathless both from sheer surprise and the tightness of a wookiee's grip. After the initial shock wore off, he returned the favor with a squeeze of his own.

Oh, how he had _missed_ this.

Ben hid his teary face in the wet, matted fur of Chewbacca's chest. The family they had once shared was unrecognizable, most of its members lost, and Ben was to blame. A shuddered sob escaped him, and Chewbacca stroked his back without reservation. Their moment of tenderness humbled Ben and he felt terribly unworthy of this grace from his dear father's friend. He wasn't sure how long they held each other until Chewbacca deemed an appropriate amount of time had passed before releasing him.

Once withdrawn from their embrace, Chewbacca gestured his head towards Rey lying on the captain's bed a mere few feet away. He delivered a series rumbles, low enough to avoid waking her but forceful enough to assert his concern. Ben's Schyriiwook was admittedly rather rusty, but he understood perfectly.

"I know you do," Ben responded in Basic, forcing himself to draw his gaze away from her sleeping figure to meet Chewbacca's own wistful eyes. "I love her too."

The sudden declaration surprised even him, vulnerable words he never predicted to uttered from his lips – but he knew it to be true. More than anything in this wide galaxy. If there was any hope for them, he had to find his uncle. To achieve their dyad, he had to become his best self. "That's why I must go."

Without further question, Chewbacca decidedly stepped to the side in order to clear Ben's way. Ben was momentarily stunned, concluding that his agony must have been evident and left little doubt behind his motives for fleeing the encampment. He had little time to hesitate, lest he was lured by momentary weakness or fear.

_Fear is the path to the dark side._

Never again.

"Thank you." Was his final choked whisper to his uncle before rounding the Falcon's corridor and descending down the gangplank. He was met by the song of the jungle moon's insects and crickets while his path ahead was all but lit by a blue dim hue. With every swift pound of his feet on the grass, his heart felt tighter at the swirling visions of Rey waking up in a few short hours to realize she was once again alone.

He understood that feeling all too well.

The wet sheen on his cheeks was a mix of both tears and the moisture from the humid air that stubbornly clung to his face. His lips mouthed a silent plea.

_Forgive me, Rey_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, y'all *grit teeth emoji* (also, this is the longest fit I've written since high school? So that's cool)
> 
> And now here is a haiku
> 
> it would be so swell
> 
> for you to leave a review
> 
> xox rose


	6. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest - I thought this was going to be the shortest chapter, a sweet and simple epilogue, but here we are almost 4,000 words later.
> 
> I know this took a lot of time, but I hope it has been worth your patience. I've been rewriting and tweaking it for weeks.

_"You're so lonely. So afraid to leave. At night, desperate to sleep... you imagine an ocean. I see it... I see the island."_

* * *

Three Years Later

* * *

A new school has opened.

Despite its short existence, the school's notoriety had spread across the galaxy. The heroes of the reformed Republic and famed new era Jedi, Rey and Finn had dedicated their post war lives to seeking Force sensitive younglings from every corner of the galaxy as their students. They took special interest in those from civilizations who had been most devastated by the First Order's reign: slaves, refugees, and a multitude of exploited communities. Unlike the school's own founders, these children of the Force would receive guidance, love, and, especially for those orphaned, a _family_.

It was a calling that would have had the legendary Skywalker twins beaming with pride.

The school itself was located on the island of Varykino, in the heart of Naboo's Lake Country. It seemed only appropriate for it to be housed in the historic family retreat of the beloved Padmé Amidala Naberrie, one of the founders of the earliest Rebellions against the rising Empire. Additionally, it would also be remiss not to mention that just some distance down the very same lake was where the long abandoned ancestral home of House Palpatine also resided. Constructed of towering yellow stone topped with copper green domes, these homes served as relics of two bloodlines' tangled destinies, painfully entwined for over four generations.

Rey Skywalker, granddaughter of Sheev Palpatine, sought to mend these wounds. A new era of Jedi, founded on reformed principles, would rise from its ashes.

On this particular day, the sun was shining, the sky a brilliant shade of blue. It was the perfect afternoon to host skill lessons outdoors. Rey and Finn circled each other on the dirt dueling patch outside just underneath the shade of a nearby tree as younglings of various galactic species and ages ogled at their mentors with quiet fascination.

"Listen up!" Finn shouted, commanding the attention of the group with a twirl a wooden practice staff over his head. "You'll be split into pairs. Remember, we're looking for technique, not victory. Work through the motions Master Rey taught you earlier in the week…" Rey inwardly swelled with joy. It had been an absolute honor to watch Finn grow as both a Jedi and teacher.

Giving each other a slight bow, she and Finn took their posts opposite each other on the field, practice staffs held out front.

The motions were simple:

_Sidestep_

_Deflect_

_Lift_

_Overhead twirl_

_Downward slash_

Rey demonstrated the combination with ease, satisfied with the noise of their wooden sabers as they clack against each other. They were just about to reverse their roles in the routine, with Finn taking the place as the aggressor, when Rey became suddenly distracted.

The sounds of waves against rocks drowned out the excited cheers of her students, which had all become indiscernible noises. Confused, her eyes darted across her environment as she continued to deflect Finn's advances, noting the afternoon's mild breeze. Even if there was an approaching storm, no weather from across the lake could have conjured enough strength for the thunderous churning of water that now rang in Rey's ears.

Then, before Rey could gather her bearings, the warbled sounds around her were replaced by an all too familiar hum of a bond materializing, a sound she had not heard in what felt over a lifetime.

"Rey?" She heard the clatter of her dropped stick at her side. Finn's voice was muffled as her sight blurred, barraged with a collection of fragmented images.

_A swirling ocean. The timeworn stone walls of an ancient temple. An island._

Her knees buckled from the weight of the vision. Right before she lost her footing, she caught a glimpse of the back of a broad cloaked figure just over a very concerned Finn's shoulder as he rushed towards her. Just as quickly as the apparition appeared it dissolved against the green of the estate's gardens.

"Rey – are you okay?" Finn was at her side now, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as she shakily propped herself up.

"Alright!" Rose shouted over the giggles and concerned whispers of their gawking students. "I think it's time for some lunch!" She may not have been a Jedi, but Rose was naturally perceptive to the changed disposition of her friends and their need for some space right now. She hurriedly corralled the younglings over to the picnic lunch they had set up by the lake. Finn's anxious gaze never left Rey's face as she collected her breath.

"I'm fine." Rey assured him, though her voice shook. Once certain that the students had been led safely out of earshot by Rose, she spoke in a hushed whisper. "It was him, Finn." Her voice cracked with urgency. She could feel the sweat bead on her forehead. "Ben. I know where he is."

Finn's eyes widened. He took a moment to consume this new revelation before giving a firm nod.

"Then it's time for you to find him."

* * *

Ahch-To was most beautiful just before sunset.

The Falcon entered the atmosphere with a satisfying 'puff' through the low clouds, cruising across the water surface. The whites of the ocean's swells reflected the sunlight of the planet's fading golden hour as deep oranges and pinks were just beginning to paint the sky: Jakku could never.

Rey's stomach was twisted in knots, but she did not let her nerves distract her as she maneuvered through the cockpit in preparation for landing. No matter how skilled she was, the old freighter was still a bit of a challenge without a co-pilot. Finn had been initially a little skeptical at her request to go alone, but ultimately respected her decision.

Chewbacca was a bit harder to convince, but he too eventually caved.

This was a part of her journey she had to complete on her own.

The distinct silhouette of Temple Island peaked just above the horizon now.

In an attempt to quiet the thoughts and uncertainties that raced through her mind, Rey allowed for a moment to close her eyes.

_Breathe. Just, breathe._

* * *

He sat atop one of the highest points of the island, deep in meditation. Mind at ease, the warmth of the late afternoon sun on his face, the Force carried his thoughts through his surroundings. He maneuvered through each blade of grass soaking in the sunlight, the pebbles below that tumbled ashore with each wave, joined in the elation of a nearby porg with her newly hatched young, and the booming arrival…of a freighter.

He didn't have to see it – he could identify that noise anywhere. Despite his originally relaxed state and even breathing, his heart skipped a beat, closely followed his skin prickling on the back of his neck as he became distracted by the familiar presence onboard.

"Ah" A knowing voice nearby spoke. His wandering thoughts betrayed him. "Rey."

In spite of himself, eyes still closed, a smile played on his lips at the sound of her name.

"She's arrived," he confirmed, poorly masking his excitement.

His uncle hummed in approval. "She'll know where to find you."

* * *

Rey approached the Lanai village, oddly comforted by the sight of their stone-walled huts clusters. It looked just how she had remembered it, although she did not fail to notice the Caretakers' recent renovations to their infrastructure. Their homes were enhanced with patches of scavenged steel scraps and solar paneling from a certain TIE-Fighter that been abandoned some time ago. Rey inwardly cringed of having left yet another destructive mark on the island, which she seemed prone to doing, but at least this particular deed appeared to have been proven somewhat beneficial.

She would also be hard pressed to ignore how a great deal of this remodeling was constructed well outside the reach for the island's native residents of such modest height.

Much like the village had adapted and drawn from its surroundings, Rey had too since she last stepped on this island. In spite of witnessing immense destruction and death following her unexpected departure from Jakku, she had still remained rather naïve. She had traveled to this island chasing myths. She had been so convinced she would whisk away the illustrious Luke Skywalker, who secluded himself from the rest of the galaxy in shame, to save the Resistance and bring the First Order to its knees.

She had been wrong. Her hand lingered over the hilt of her saber at her waist. It had been her story all along – and she would be the hero.

Rey began her ascent up the aged stone stairs scaling the highest point of the island. The rest of her trek would use the day's remaining sunlight, but she was not discouraged: a renewed sense of purpose fueled each step.

* * *

Just when she believed she could climb no further, Rey had reached the entrance of the ancient Jedi Temple. The setting sun seeped through the meditation ledge arch overlooking the sea, painting the bare stoned walls with its warm orange glow. The noise and activity of the island were all but muted as she stepped inside, the reverent quiet enveloping her in a comfortable embrace. Established several millennia before the Galactic Empire's reign of terror, the first Jedi Temple stood as a testament to the Order's resilience. Other sanctuaries had fallen by the Sith's hand, but the original remained. The generations of stories these walls could tell – though the last conversation shared between two living Jedi in this room drowned out the echoes of the others.

_"Now that they're extinct, the Jedi are romanticized—deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, from the birth of the Sith to the fall of the Republic the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy. Hubris."_

Her lesson with Master Skywalker had not gone as anticipated. She had initially been so resistant to Luke's criticism of the Jedi, a mysterious group she had long fantasized as a young girl. Guardians for peace and light, she had imagined their widespread influence across the galaxy, bringing justice with neatly choregraphed swings of their mythic sabers – _if_ the legends were real. A young scavenger, who was never sure when her next meal would be, had been quite cynical of such tall tales.

Rey slowly lowered herself beside the mosaic pool at the room's center, its ancient design depicting the fabled Prime Jedi. Regarded as the first member of the Jedi of the Order according to texts, the Prime Jedi was illustrated in a state of meditation and, most significantly, _balance_. The Prime Jedi showed no favor for either the light or the dark, rather, represented lightness in dark and darkness in light. It seemingly contradicted the Jedi Code, which long governed the behavior and lifestyle of the Jedi that evolved in the centuries following the original Order's establishment. The late Jedi Order trained in the light side of the force, their methods drawing from inner peace and passiveness, rejecting the raw emotions that the dark side drew its power from.

With the move of its Order to Coruscant in later years, the Jedi Order and its origins experienced a greater divide, seduced by the influence and power of the metropolitan planet at the center of the galaxy's political field. Those loyal to the Jedi Order and desperate in their fight for the "light" became increasingly uncompromising in their teachings: rigid recruitment and training of younglings, wary of outside influences, and strict denial of emotional attachments that may lead one to indulge in unsavory methods. Despite their tight grip, rogue Force-sensitive individuals slipped through its fingers. No severe punishment or banishment from the Order could influence those who struggled with their light or were tempted by the dark.

The Sith was birthed from this schism. The Jedi Order, as Luke had explained, were guilty of forging their own foes and monsters. What was once a force of justice through peace became exploited, militarized, unknowingly giving hand to the fall of the Republic.

Master Luke had been right, but also wrong. The Jedi had lost their way, but not all was lost. At their core, the Jedi remained steadfast in their practice of selflessness and compassion for others-

It was what saved Anakin Skywalker.

It was what saved Ben.

The Prime Jedi at the first Jedi temple's center represented the great universal truth of what Luke had tried to teach her: the Force belonged to no one. Not the Jedi, not the Sith. Intertwined with the fabric of the galaxy, the Force had existed long before them and would continue to exist long after-

Another face joined Rey's reflection in the basin. Startled, Rey leapt onto her feet.

Ben.

He stood across from her, the mosaic between them. Clad in a tunic and long robe of muted grays, his hair was unkept and met his shoulders in thick waves. In addition to his upper lip, his jawline was framed with dark facial hair. The physical changes to his appearance were drastic but paled in comparison to the rest of his transformation – his eyes most of all. They had once served as cracks through the ominous mask Kylo Ren wore without the helmet, granting rare glimpses of the man he could have been. Now they had overpowered his entire demeanor: broad shoulders relaxed, unclenched fists, and a hint of a smile escaped the corner of his mouth.

They quietly regarded each other for a few moments before he finally spoke.

"Rey." She sharply inhaled at the sound of his voice saying her name after so much time.

"Ben." An even response.

Rey idled where she stood, suppressing the urge to run to him. Partly, it was pride. She had been so _furious_ with him in the days that followed his unexplained departure from Ajan Kloss. The first months were the most challenging: empty hours and sleepless nights that blended together in a dismal blur. There had been little peace for not only her but her close companions as well, burdened by their inability to console their mourning friend. Even Poe Dameron, who detested the very thought of the former Supreme Leader amongst them, almost wished for Ben's return-

-but he never came back.

Once her tears had dried out, her devastation was replaced with fury. Rey had scoured the galaxy for him, relying on vague descriptions and gainless leads given from locals and smugglers across countless systems. Their Forcebond had been closed off by Ben, providing her little clue to his whereabouts. All of these expeditions ended empty handed, but every so often she imagined a sense of a lingering presence as if he was only a few steps ahead. She was chasing a ghost.

She wanted to tell him that sometimes her nightmares convinced her he had perished on Exegol and she had returned to the Resistance with nothing but his torn tunic. On these nights, she woke up twisted in sweaty sheets, gasping for air through wretched sobs.

Her newfound family found amongst friends and the Resistance had been her refuge. The school and her students inspired new purpose, distracting her from the grief of being abandoned yet once again.

Yet, seeing him front of her after three long years, she felt her resolve splinter and crack away.

Though she recognized him, he was no longer the wounded man who had quietly listened to her fears without judgement across a smoldering fire, a galaxy apart - he had become the man from her vision that the intimate touch of their hands had revealed to her.

Uninvited images of their last evening shared together flashed across her mind while a sudden wave of doubt washed over her, replacing her initial anger with uncertainty. Rey briefly speculated if his rebirth of sorts had dulled any feelings he may have once had for her as his past self. She felt foolish.

Unsure of what to say next, her eyes wandered and inspected the hilt of the new saber he adjourned on his waist. It glinted from the light, an assortment of silver and copper. She swallowed. Like his mother's. Her vision became blurred by restrained tears.

"I like it."

Ben gestured to her own hip, noting her repurposed staff. "I like yours too. It suits you." He rolled his jaw thoughtfully, constructing his next sentence carefully. "You've always had a talent for salvaging the potential in things – even if it's absolute garbage." He offered a fleeting smirk before his mouth pursed, his bottom lip shuddering ever so slightly as he took a shaky inhale. His eyes wandered over her, taking take her all in. Beyond her windswept hair, dirtied pants, and frayed travel shawl, Rey wondered what he saw.

This scene had become all too familiar for them now – like poetry. Once amongst debris in a throne room of faux grandeur and then again in a vast hanger of cold tile under the watchful eyes of troopers obediently awaiting his next command. The two of them now stood across each other inside this ancient space Rey for so long had only seen in dreams, never envisioning her next visit here would include him. Even the air seemed to buzzed around them in anticipation of their next move.

"I can't believe you're here," he finally uttered, in hushed disbelief.

"Of course I am-"

Two wide strides and he was to her. One pull of his arms, and she was against him.

Their hands hungrily rediscovered each other with unspoken urgency, confirming their reality with every stroke over an arm and caress on their lower back. His fingers were tangled in her hair as he kissed her everywhere: neck, ears, forehead, and cheeks – his lips traveling her exposed skin with whispered apologies, covering over the trails her tears had once taken. There was little need to speak them out loud, however, for their minds bridged together the moment his mouth found her own.

It was a floodgate of emotions, but Rey wasn't drowning. She had been here many times before and knew the way, though she no longer stumbled through his darkness. The storm was still there but no longer tumultuous. Instead, a soothing low rumble and the exciting tingling sensation of distant lighting. His mind was inviting, soaking every bit of her in, wanting to share everything that had transpired since their separation.

She felt his mourning. His regret. His reflection. His atonement. His hope.

She felt his _peace._

With his former Master's guidance, he had become the Jedi he needed to be. The Jedi Rey needed. She understood now.

_Dear child, the longing you seek is not behind you…it is ahead._

All while on Jakku, all Rey had felt was yearning. She had been consumed by it, a hunger that could never be satisfied by even the most profitable days' worth of Unkar Plutt's rations. During her most sleepless nights, she found solace from the night sky from the comfort a top her corroded AT-AT, a relic from a war that had been nothing but obscure legend to a young orphan girl. Her desire to be amongst the stars was an inexplicable, innate feeling, but when the Force revealed the first steps of her journey below Maz's castle she ran. In her wildest fantasies she would never imagine that what was awakened within her was part of a legacy much larger than herself – no less sharing in this purpose with someone else.

All those years of longing and she had never been alone.

Fate had declared them enemies. The Force destined them as one: a dyad. Two halves of the same whole.

Those who had come before them had either sought or manifested the prophesized dyad. Master and Padawan. Sith Lord and Apprentice. A twin brother and sister.

But the Force's chosen individuals, in spite of their resistance, had become _lovers._

Ben withdrew from her just far enough for his gaze to find hers again, his hands resting firmly on her waist. His previously somber expression cracked into a handsome grin that extended to the corner of his eyes: deep brown pools that glimmered from the setting sun outside.

Maz was right, Rey mused, he did have his mother's eyes.

Rey reached up towards him, tenderly placing her hand against his face. Ben's lids instinctively closed at her touch, a flutter dark lashes against flushed skin, and pressed his cheek further into her palm.

After discovering such wholeness, it terrified her that she had been so close to having it ripped all away from her in a single instant. When reflecting on Exegol, she wasn't sure who had saved who, but what she was certain of is that she no longer wanted to do this on her own. She was now the one who had a proposal for him, though not offered by an outstretched gloved hand:

To create something new, _together,_ as he had always foreseen it. The past wouldn't die, they would learn from it. They would grow from the Jedi who proceeded them, inspired by the lessons their Masters had instilled in them. Wisdom, success, but also their folly would be what guided them. They would continue what Luke Skywalker had started. They would fulfill the potential of their bond as the Force intended it.

"Ben, I-" Her voice trembled. _Join me, come home, s_ he wanted to ask of him but struggled to speak it out loud. No words were worthy of what she had grown to feel for him.

He responded to her dizzying ruminations with an affirming press of his lips against her forehead.

"I know."

The day's last light splayed across the temple floor around them. Swept in an overdue moment of unhindered joy, laughter escaped Rey. She couldn't recall the last time she had laughed without the burdens of the galaxy on her shoulders. She could feel the thumping of Ben's elated heart against his chest, joining the flutter of her own. He wordlessly brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed her again. She returned it earnestly.

Distracted by their bliss, they did not notice how the basin of the Prime Jedi rippled in approval beside them.

_Reset._

_Balance._

Evil had come to the galaxy in in many forms, but so did Good.

If Evil returned, they would be ready.

* * *

_"The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back._ _  
Love is more than a candle.  
Love can ignite the stars."_

* * *

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I SO hoped you all liked it. This was definitely supposed to be the shorter of the chapters, but well, here we are. This entire fic was supposed to be a one-shot initially, to be honest, but I became rather carried away and now it's the longest fic I've written.
> 
> This has become my secret head canon now. With the sequel trilogy having come to an end, I would like to continue to write in this AU I've created. One-shots and drabbles based on these characters - so if you're still reading, keep an eye out on my profile!
> 
> And, as always, PLEASE let me know what you think! I hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> xox rose
> 
> PS: Final poem at the end is from the ROTS novelization. If you haven't read it yet, DO IT.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Way less subtle Ben/Rey fic than I usually write. Although I went into TROS knowing full well Ben Solo would not make it out a live, it's fun to explore what challenges and reactions he would have received if he had lived.
> 
> Let me know what y'all think!
> 
> Be safe & well
> 
> xox rose


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